Anyway….enough of the book promo. Last week we were reading about how often in relationships partners get frustrated, worried, or even break up when they feel things are not going well in their relationships or if they are not feeling ‘in love’ anymore. We all come with our myths, misconceptions, and personal un-health in the ways we approach love, and as we approach healthy, life giving love (which they define as ‘consumate love’, love that is equal parts passion, commitment, and intimacy) we need to give ourselves and each other grace and know that we are all stumbling along towards wholeness. They encouraged their readers to see marriage relationships as a dance, where we spend the rest of our lives learning the steps and growing together, as we step on each others toes and sometimes experience moments of graceful beauty and unity. They then quoted Anne Morrow Lindbergh, from her book Gift From the Sea:
"When you love someone you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to. And yet this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror it’s ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity-freedom.”
As I first read this it struck me that our relationship with God is much the same way. It is a dance where we learn from our patient teacher the steps, and we struggle through the ebb and flow of our lives to follow, though sometimes we forget the steps or start dancing on our own.
When we feel distant, doubtful, or dry in our faith with God we often make ourselves feel guilty that we are not good enough, or that maybe God is not really working in our lives. Yet, in every relationship there are ups and downs, and our goal with God, as in relationship, is to keep growing, keep learning, continuing to work towards 'consumate' love and to trust that God is patiently working with us as well.
D.H Lawrence wrote once that “all I know is one thing: when Grace calls me to dance, I must dance.” Relationships with those closest to us reflect the larger dance of faith that we are dancing with God. We can be encouraged that God is always beckoning us to come and dance again, to learn the steps and to flow and twirl with our Creator…though sometimes we may be tired and alone, we can always return to the dance. As Matthew 11:28-30 states(translated in The Message) :
“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."
When I think of our relationship with God as a dance I always think of this video, check it out:
Or see it in a bigger format here:
